


don't keep beasts you can't tame

by enjolrolo



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: First Date, Living in the same apartment building au, Multi, Spiders, hijabi musichetta, joly is actually so cute, well there's only one but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 05:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4251336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enjolrolo/pseuds/enjolrolo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“If you see a fuzzy tarantula about yea big,” she indicates a size with her hands (They’re perfectly manicured, why isn’t Bossuet surprised), and then her smile turns apologetic, “please don’t kill her, her name’s Terry and she’s a beloved pet.”</p><p>It takes Bossuet a moment to let her words sink in. “Wait, like there’s a full-grown tarantula crawling around the building?”</p><p>_________________________</p><p>Musichetta loses her spider, and Joly and Bossuet become the lucky ones who are enlisted to help find it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't keep beasts you can't tame

Bossuet trips on three different boxes on the way to the door of his apartment. He knows that, for his own safety, he should at least clear a path, but he’s been busy with work and he kind of knows where everything is anyway. He swings open his front door, effectively knocking over a stack of boxes, and finds an unfairly attractive woman standing on the doormat, smiling bemusedly at him.

They both wince when they hear a stack of boxes hit the ground and break open. Bossuet feels some silverware bury his right foot--so _that’s_ the box he’d put the kitchenware in--but he puts a smile on his face. “Hi! Can I help you?”

“I sure hope so.” The woman grins. She’s about four inches shorter than him, but looks like she could take him in a fight, and her smile is perfect and her outfit has definitely been coordinated. Her gold shoes match her bracelets, which match her hijab, and Bossuet is kind of already in love. “If you see a fuzzy tarantula about yea big,” she indicates a size with her hands (They’re perfectly manicured, why isn’t Bossuet surprised), and then her smile turns apologetic, “please don’t kill her, her name’s Terry and she’s a beloved pet.”

It takes Bossuet a moment to let her words sink in. “Wait, like there’s a full-grown tarantula crawling around the building?”

“Her cage got left open.” The woman grimaces. “You don’t even have to touch her, I live on the next floor up, apartment five twelve.”

“I’ll keep an eye out.” Bossuet doesn’t think he’ll be sleeping much. “What’s your name, by the way? I’m Bossuet.” (Because he can’t handle not knowing this lady’s name.)

“Musichetta.” She gives a little wave. "If you need help unpacking in there, I could probably find it in myself to assist you."

"I might have to take you up on that, actually."

Musichetta shrugs. "Let me know."

Bossuet steps on a fork when he goes to close the door again, but he doesn't really mind.

 

Joly doesn’t really know what time it is or where his pen went-- _really he had it five minutes ago where did he set it down_ \--and he’s just woken up from an accidental two minute nap when the doorbell rings. He rolls off of the couch, and realizes that his sweater is on backwards when he’s halfway to the the door.

After fixing it and running his fingers through his bangs to make them somewhat presentable, he cracks the door open and rubs one eye. “Hello?”

The lady standing there is taller than he is by a few inches and is the actual embodiment of sweet ferocity. Her eyebrows are very intense, from what he can see through half-shut eyes that are still adjusting to the light in the hallway.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" she asks, looking sincerely apologetic.

"I just got up, it's okay," Joly mumbles, yawning while at the same time trying to appear alert. "Do you need something...?"

"Yes. I accidentally left the cage door for my tarantula open and she got out."

This effectively wakes Joly up, and he stares at her, wide-eyed. He hates spiders, and he always will, and this is not what he needs on top of a ten-page Anatomy essay. " _What_?!"

The lady presses on, looking ashamed. "I'm so sorry. Her name's Terry, please don't kill her if you find her. You have ink on your chin."

Joly rubs at his chin with a sigh. "Thanks for letting me know."

"Sorry," she says again. "I'm Musichetta, by the way. I live in apartment five twelve."

"Joly," he says by way of introduction. He can practically feel the stupid spider's eyes on his neck already. Otherwise, Musichetta seems like a wonderful person. "You have a face like sunshine," he eventually decides to say. Nailed it.

But Musichetta smiles, and Joly can almost forgive her for having a pet tarantula. "You're really cute. Let me know if you find Terry."

"You'll hear the screams."

 

Musichetta is rudely awakened the next morning by a call from the landlord, Javert, who very clearly lays out the fact that Terry is legally a pest and should be killed on sight. She snaps at him without any venom at all, and hangs up in a bad mood. It's clear that she needs to be the one to find Terry, but she'll need a little bit of help.

The only people in the building that she wants to form an alliance with are the two guys on the fourth floor who'd both been cute and hadn't threatened to kill her for losing her spider. (Honestly, the old man on the third floor with the broom and huge tattoos needed to take it down a notch.) She's pretty sure that their names are Joly and Bossuet. Joly's a cutie who is the embodiment of the sleepy college student and Bossuet had apparently knocked over half of the boxes in his apartment trying to answer the door. They're both people she wants on her team.

After wrestling with her hijab for more than half an hour, Musichetta takes the elevator down one story and knocks on Joly's door.

He answers within seconds and seems much more awake than he had the day before. "Hi!" he greets brightly. The pen marks are still faintly there on his face, but he's apparently put in some effort to get them off. "Did you find your spider?"

"I was hoping you could help me find her?" Musichetta asks awkwardly.

Joly looks decidedly nervous. "Uh. Yeah. Sure. I'm not a licensed spider-catcher or anything, though?"

"That's okay, I am," she hurriedly assures him. "I just want some extra eyes to help me."

"Okay." Joly shoves his feet into some worn grey shoes, grabs a cane that’s leaning against the wall, and pulls his front door shut behind him, his smile very shy and too cute. "Just the two of us?"

"I thought I would ask Bossuet to tag along too. Do you know him?"

Joly's face turns bright red at the mere mention of Bossuet's name, and Musichetta raises an eyebrow. "That's, uh, fine," Joly finally answers, which isn't actually an answer to Musichetta's question, but she doesn't press the matter.

 

Bossuet is hardly out of bed when someone knocks on his door. After almost avoiding knocking over any boxes--he discovers where his Harry Potter books have been--he opens the door, shirtless and wearing his Hufflepuff sweats that his friend Grantaire forced on him on his last birthday, and really hopes that it's no one he wants to make a good impression on. 

Of course, with his luck, it's the only two people in the world that he has crushes on. Joly from down the hall is accompanied by Musichetta, presumably still spider-less. "Good morning," Musichetta says after a brief moment of silence.

Joly clears his throat and his cheeks are red, why can't Joly speak without getting embarrassed? "Want to come spider-hunting?"

Bossuet wants to violently reject anything spider-related, but this is Joly and Musichetta asking, so he finds himself nodding yes. "Can I get dressed first?"

Musichetta shrugs. "If you really find it necessary."

She winks, and Bossuet realizes she's flirting. Joly gives an undignified snort, and it's adorable.

Bossuet hovers in the doorway before just wiggling his eyebrows at Musichetta and retreating back inside his apartment to find a shirt. "You can come in if you want, there isn't much room."

They step inside, and when Bossuet returns, now dressed in jeans and a hoodie, Musichetta is looking bemusedly at the halfhearted pile of forks on the ground, and Joly is leaning on his cane and giggling with his free hand over his mouth to muffle it.

Both of them look over when Bossuet trips over _The Order of the Phoenix_ , and then they’re off.

  
The three of them decide to start in the basement. There's nothing much there, except some old rusty bicycles and the deserted lost and found, which includes a plastic chess set and some old jeans. Joly declares the entire level unsanitary and waits in the lobby for Musichetta and Bossuet to finish. He claims that because he's a pre-med student, he has the right to say these things.

If the tarantula was in the lobby, Bossuet's pretty sure that they would know, so they skip that and go back to Musichetta's apartment to plot out Terry's escape and get clues.

After a few moments, Joly exclaims in dismay, "She could be in the vents!"

Musichetta's eyes widen. "Oh no."

Bossuet covers his face with his hands. "What have you done."

 

Joly has never been spider-hunting before, and it terrifies him. He knows that Musichetta will be able to keep the tarantula under control once they find it, and Bossuet is there for moral support, but it's still scary. The fact that any surface could be hiding long, furry tarantula legs makes him jumpy and a little nauseous, but he sticks it out because Musichetta needs his help and she and Bossuet are both beautiful people.

After about two hours, which has been forty percent looking for Terry and sixty percent talking about anything and everything, Joly learns a lot, including that Musichetta is attending the same school as Joly and is majoring in fashion design and minoring in computer programming. Bossuet just got kicked out of law school and moved into the building in the same week, and is working at a bookstore downtown.

They’re on the top floor when Joly unfortunately remembers his ten-page Anatomy essay and sighs. "I have to go finish this paper that's due Friday."

Musichetta's shoulders slump, but she smiles encouragingly anyway. "Thank you for your help."

"I can call some people, see if they've seen anything, but I don't think there's anything else to do," Bossuet chimes in, looking somewhat relieved. "I can walk with you back to your apartment," he offers Joly as an afterthought.

Joly blushes furiously before nodding yes. "Sure."

Musichetta gives it a moment of thought before she announces that she'll ride the elevator with them. "Don't want you two getting lost," she points out as she links arms with both of them.

She parts ways with them after walking Joly to his door, and Bossuet waves to Joly after the latter gets his door unlocked. "See you around?" Bossuet asks hopefully.

Joly nods decisively. "Please." Before he can humiliate himself too much, he shuts his door and goes to find some cereal to drown his embarrassment in.

He's halfway done opening the box when something inside definitely moves.

  
Musichetta is almost to her floor when she hears a bloodcurdling scream. Without thinking twice, she whirls around and almost flies down the last flight of stairs again, skipping the last four steps entirely. Someone has definitely found her spider.

She's looking around the hallway for clues as to which apartment is the scream's origin, and nearly collides with Bossuet when he emerges from his room. "Did you hear it?" she demands. Bossuet nods slowly.

The scream repeats itself, and then just continues, unwavering, and Musichetta realizes that it's coming from Joly's apartment. Bossuet runs to the door, finds it unlocked, and slips inside. Musichetta isn't far behind.

They find Joly in his kitchen, near tears and brandishing a frying pan like it'll protect him and yelling frantically for help. Across the counter is a box of Kix, with two furry spider legs sticking out.

Bossuet looks sort of sick and doesn't take a step closer, instead focusing on Joly, who's rambling sort of hysterically and trembling. Musichetta feels really guilty, because Joly of all people doesn't deserve to be startled like that, and runs forward to collect her spider.

Once Bossuet has coaxed the frying pan out of Joly's hands, Musichetta closes up the top of the cereal box and picks it up. "Thanks," she offers weakly.

Joly's both crying and laughing, and Bossuet semi-awkwardly pulls him into a hug. "Please don't get that near me, holy crap, it tried to kill me," Joly gasps into Bossuet’s hoodie.

"You broke him," Bossuet whispers to Musichetta.

Musichetta winces in sympathy and runs out of the apartment to return Terry to her cage.

  
It takes Joly a few minutes to calm down, and Bossuet is patient, and only releases his new friend when Joly has stopped mumbling slightly crazed threats to the giant spider. "That was so scary," Joly mutters unnecessarily, wiping at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater.

Bossuet nods in agreement, and he doesn't realize until a few seconds after that Joly has taken his hand tightly. "That was my worst nightmare, right there."

"I'm not going to be able to eat for days," Joly says fervently.

Bossuet snorts, and it's probably thanks to all the high emotions that they both start laughing.

"Does Chetta think I'm mad at her?" Joly suddenly asks after a brief period of silence. "I'm not, I'm just mad at her spider. I actually really like Chetta."

"Me too," Bossuet agrees immediately. "We can go talk to her."

Joly freezes up. "I'm not going anywhere near her apartment."

Bossuet rolls his eyes. "Terry's in her cage now. I'm going up."

Joly looks like he's going to stay put, so Bossuet walks out of his apartment. A few moments later, Joly sheepishly appears at his elbow and mutters something about being too jumpy on his own.

Musichetta opens her door as they arrive, and looks like she's accidentally kicked a puppy. "Joly, sweetheart, I am so so so sorry."

Joly smiles and twists the bottom of his sweater in his hands. "It's okay. You can take us out for coffee to make up for it, if you want."

It's the smoothest that Bossuet has ever seen Joly be before, and he has to admit that he's impressed. It's an added bonus that Musichetta accepts the invitation.

  
Musichetta isn't sure if this can be considered a date, but she thinks it's the best one she's been on, ever. Joly, who's still a little shaky from the whole episode, still contributes much to the conversation, laughs at all the right times, and assures Musichetta at least four times that he's not mad at all. Bossuet knocks into several people that they pass on the sidewalk, despite Joly and Musichetta's attempts to shield him. He also runs straight into a light post, and it's really amazing how bad his luck is.

At the cafe, they order their drinks and sit down. Musichetta sips her tea and almost chokes on it when Bossuet starts cracking really awful jokes.

"Thanks for your help," she finally interrupts. "Means a lot."

Joly shudders. "Don't make me do that ever again. I probably suffered a minor heart attack back there, and might need medical assistance."

"Maybe you're just a spider magnet." Bossuet shrugs. "There might be a dead spider in the bottom of your coffee because it wanted to meet you so badly."

Joly shrieks and sets his cup down, gagging. Musichetta slaps Bossuet upside the head. " _No_ ," she says sternly, and Bossuet looks sort of ashamed when Joly starts groaning about how he can't finish his cappuccino now because Bossuet _ruined_ it.

"I actually have to go write that paper now," Joly says, once his coffee has been properly disposed of. Bossuet checks his watch.

"I should get ready for work. Thanks for the adventure, Chetta," he says, like the events of the day didn't traumatize Joly for life.

Both he and Joly kiss her on each cheek at the same time, and she grins as she waves them off. "Be safe!" she calls cheesily after them. Bossuet gives a thumbs-up, and Joly takes his hand and yanks him sideways to prevent him from running into the doorframe.

    

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in like half an hour at three in the morning pls be kind
> 
> the title sounds poetic but it's rly just abt the spider


End file.
